Gary Larson Quotes

Every week when my batch of weekly cartoons would go to FedEx, it felt like a small miracle. Then in a few days, it's 'Here we go again.'

I don't believe in the concept of hell, but if I did I would think of it as filled with people who were cruel to animals.

By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began to suspect 'Hungry'.

You always hear a headline like this, 'Man Killed By Shark', you never hear it from the other perspective, 'Man Swims in Shark Infested Waters, Forgets He's Shark Food'.

The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression.

It is a known fact that the sheep that give us steel wool have no natural enemies.

Great moments in science: Einstein discovers that time is actually money.

The picture's pretty bleak, gentlemen... The world's climates are changing, the mammals are taking over, and we all have a brain about the size of a walnut.

You should always leave the party 10 minutes before you actually do.

The fuel light's on, Frank! We're all going to die! Wait, wait... Oh, my mistake - that's the intercom light.

Hot oil! We need hot oil!... Forget the water balloons!

Thunderstick?... You actually said, 'Thunderstick?'... That, my friend is a Winchester 30.06.

Of course, living in an all-glass house has its disadvantages...but you should see the birds smack it.

I don't know where my ideas come from. I will admit, however, that one key ingredient is caffeine. I get a couple cups of coffee into me and weird things just start to happen.

I get a couple cups of coffee into me and weird things just start to happen.

I never liked my own species.

I never liked my own species. On why so many of his comics are about animals, in an interview.

I actually find a lot of parallels in jazz and cartooning.

What is that mountain goat doing way up here in the clouds?

He has been known by many names: Lucifer, Beelzabub, Belial, the Prince of Lies, Satan, and at a party once an obnoxious drunk kept calling him "Dude."

I've always considered music stores to be the graveyards of musicians.

I think I'm maintaining the quality, but internally I'm paying for it.

If a tree falls in the woods, and nobody is around to hear it, and it hits a mime, does anyone care?

The great thing about this jungle of ours is that anyone of you could grow up to be Lord of the apes.

The message is not so much that the worms will inherit the Earth, but that all things play a role in nature, even the lowly worm.

On Career Day in high school, you don't walk around looking for the cartoon guy.

Wait a minute! This is grass! We've been eating grass!

I think one thing that's important to maintain is a sense of fear, always doubting yourself... a good dose of insecurity helps your work in some ways.

It would be hard to get worse. I had only one direction to go.

The idea for any cartoon (my experience, anyway) is rarely spontaneous. Good ideas usually evolve out of pretty lame ones, and vice versa.

Things can be low on the food chain, but that doesn't mean they're lowly.

Man Swims in Shark Infested Waters, Forgets He's Shark Food.

Cartooning was a good fit for me. And yet now, years later, I almost never think about it.

Theme-park approach to nature. We judge plants and animals by whether they're entertaining to us. We gravitate toward animals and plants that are big, dramatic, beautiful and at eye-level.

Welcome to Hell. Here's your accordion.

If you're gonna shoot an elephant Mr. Schneider, you better be prepared to finish the job.