It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me it's the parts that I do understand.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

Love turns men into boys

Nobody likes being exploited, unless they're unaware of it, and many aren't aware of it because they believe that's how life is and you can't change it.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

Baseball is sunshine, green grass, fathers and sons, our rural past.

Let chaos reign, then rein in chaos.

Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something, and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent.

There's no better way to become a disintegrated character than to be your own authority.

You would be amazed how much action anyone is capable of.

There is no evil like hatred, and no fortitude like patience.

I have often repented speaking, but never of holding my tongue.