In the future we'll all have 15 minutes of fame and 15 minutes of healthcare.

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out.

Most of us are animal lovers. We insist that we love all animals equally - the hamster, the weasel, and the zebra - but if pressed, we will admit to being either a cat person or a dog person.

Can you envision a world without men? No wrongdoing and bunches of euphoric, fat women.

Mercy, it's the revolution and I'm in my bathrobe!

We all know how cats feel about traveling in a car. You never see a cat with his head out the window, fur flying in the breeze. A cat is never anyone's designated driver.

Getting old in America ... best to do it somewhere else.

Hi, this is Sylvia. I'm not at home right now, so when you hear the beep ... hang up.

My weight is always perfect for my height - which varies.

Dogs are joiners; if they were guys, their idea of a good time would be to attend an Elks luncheon.

Coincidences give you opportunities to look more deeply into your existence.

Art should be pretentious. The place to be sincere is in one's relationships.

With determined spirit you can overpower any difficulty.

The more often you visualize your success and the more details you envision, the more motivated you’ll feel.

People cannot help their predilections, although they may conceal them.

I'd like to play for Newcastle United before I retire. The club is in my blood.

I think Shakespeare is everybody's treasure.

Enlightenment is higher states of awareness.

I don't need to publish to make a living.

People like the idea of innovation in the abstract, but when you present them with any specific innovation, they tend to reject it because it doesn't fit with what they already know.