In the Year 2000 men will finally discover that the reason women go to the bathroom in pairs... is to make out.

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

I have an abacus at home.

A new presidential poll reveals that Democrats have the edge among voters under 30. The good news for Republicans is that there's only six people under 30 who actually vote.

Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.

Morning sunrise wakes me upwith rays of hope.Clouds of fear can hide the sunbut not for long.If rays of hope are strongand patience is a song, then hope will bloom andrain will bring a rainbow.

If [Jesus] felt that He had to pray, how much more do we need to pray!

If kindness is beauty, patience is disarming elegance.

Tokyo is a very safe city. At night it becomes quiet the way New York never does.

One can lose themselves in the twilight, when there are no colors to guide the way.

The white folks like for us to be religious, then they can do what they want to with us.

Spring is nature's way of saying "Let's party!"

Writing is a team sport.

To be sure, nothing is more important to the integrity of the universities . . . than a rigorously enforced divorce from war-oriented research and all connected enterprises.

I think that 'system think' is a mindset.