In China, people are selling their kidney to buy an iPhone 6. What's going to happen when the iPhone 7 comes out?

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

I have an abacus at home.

A new presidential poll reveals that Democrats have the edge among voters under 30. The good news for Republicans is that there's only six people under 30 who actually vote.

Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.

I offer you peace. I offer you love. I offer you friendship. I see your beauty. I hear your need. I feel your feelings.

He has a traditional shopper's DNA, an eye for freshness and appearance, and a consistent sense of a home to go back to.

The single most revolutionary thing you can do is recognize that you are enough.

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid says he will not seek re-election. Harry said he wants to spend more time with his family. As I always say, check with your family.

Television showrunners are a foolishly optimistic bunch.

We have to have some rules and regulations in America, or the world would empty out here.

I guess the more serious you play something, if the context is funny, then it will be funny and it doesn't really require you to be necessarily, explicitly humorous, or silly.

Acting serves as the quintessential social lubricant and a device for protecting our interests and gaining advantage in every aspect of life.

On the flat tax, the more you compress the tax rates, the more you untax where the income is really made, at the top of the pyramid.

Agreement is the by-product of listening and understanding.