Imagine for a moment Napoleon I, to have borne the name of Jenkins, or Washington to have sustained the appellation of John Smith!

I am not a politician, and my other habits are good, also.

Trouble will come soon enough, and when he does come receive him as pleasantly as possible. The more amiably you greet him, the sooner he will go away.

The Puritans nobly fled from a land of despotism to a land of freedim, where they could not only enjoy their own religion, but could prevent everybody else from enjoyin his.

Let's have the Union restored as it was, if we can; but if we can't, I'm in favor of the Union as it wasn't.

It is true, that all married men have their own way, but the trouble is they don't all have their own way of having it.

I prefer temperance hotels - although they sell worse kinds of liquor than any other kind of hotels.

We wish genius and morality where affectionate companions, but it is a fact that they are often bitter enemies. They don't necessarily coalesce any more than oil and water do.

I can't sing. As a singist I am not a success. I am saddest when I sing. So are those who hear me. They are sadder even than I am.

A writer who can't write in a grammerly manner better shut up shop.

One of the principal features of my entertainment is that it contains so many things that don't have anything to do with it.

How am I supposed to believe you when you're obviously carrying a fake monogram Gucci Bag?

Franz Kafka is an idea person. His books begin and end in ideas. Ideas have always been important to me in my writing. To the point that I have to be careful that they don't take over.

One should adpot only those situations in which one is in no need of sham virtues, but rather, like the tight-rope dancer on his tight rope, in which one must either fall or stand--or escape.

The elements of life are dynamic patterns of mass and energy, events rather than objects.

I bless the gods for not letting my education in rhetoric, poetry, and other literary studies come easily to me, and thereby sparing me from an absorbing interest in these subjects.

This is one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.

Being turned into a lizard can really mess up your day.

There is nothing which persevering effort and unceasing and diligent care cannot accomplish.

Basketball isn't as popular in Canada as it is in the US. Hockey is by far the most popular sport in Canada.

A thug is someone who stands on his own. He lives by the decisions he makes and accepts the consequences. A thug is comfortable in his own skin. I wear mine like a glove.