If you spend a lot of time shopping for athletic clothes, you may want to consider spending less time thinking about high school.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

If there is a wasp in the room, I’d like to be able to see it.

I am not a philosopher but a friend, who, with great love and care, wants to share his thoughts.

The beauty of having short hair is that I actually can wash and style it at home!

Perhaps illnesses could be left behind, just like small, badly concealed china corpses.

You want to write a sentence as clean as a bone. That is the goal.

When Life knocks at the door no one can wait, When Death makes his arrest we have to go.

I think that people have to have to have a sense of what ideas are one the progressive side, the Democratic side in order ultimately to be effective in the political world.

I've always done things the hard way. I was born like a piece of tangled yarn. The job is trying to untangle it, and I'll probably go on doing it for the rest of my life.

A climb of eight hundred feet starts where the foot stands.

St. Paul's Chapel stands - without so much as a broken window. Little miracle.