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Mallory Ortberg Quotes: If you’re so forgetful that you’re incapable of remembering that a co-worker isn’t pregnant on three separate occasions in as many months, I worry about your memory and cognition skills.
         

If you’re so forgetful that you’re incapable of remembering that a co-worker isn’t pregnant on three separate occasions in as many months, I worry about your memory and cognition skills.


Mallory Ortberg
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Other quotes of Mallory Ortberg


It is so tempting to return rudeness with rudeness!

It is so tempting to return rudeness with rudeness!



If you don't like potlucks, the solution to your problem is "don't go to potlucks," not "insist other people don't have them."

If you don't like potlucks, the solution to your problem is "don't go to potlucks," not "insist other people don't have them."



Reconciliation is not possible when one party asks the other to obliterate all signs of their relationship.

Reconciliation is not possible when one party asks the other to obliterate all signs of their relationship.



Depression cannot be overcome by listing a series of good things in one's life, any more than a broken foot can be healed by thinking about all the other bones you have that aren't broken.

Depression cannot be overcome by listing a series of good things in one's life, any more than a broken foot can be healed by thinking about all the other bones you have that aren't broken.



Bad dental hygiene can lead to respiratory infections and an increased risk for heart disease and strokes.

Bad dental hygiene can lead to respiratory infections and an increased risk for heart disease and strokes.



So many people choose silence after the immediate wake of a death out of fear of saying something out of turn or "bringing up bad memories" that bereaved people often feel forgotten.

So many people choose silence after the immediate wake of a death out of fear of saying something out of turn or "bringing up bad memories" that bereaved people often feel forgotten.



There has to be some kind of personal hygiene bar that a person needs to clear in order for a relationship to be successful.

There has to be some kind of personal hygiene bar that a person needs to clear in order for a relationship to be successful.



You can care very much about someone without being capable of becoming their primary caregiver in the event of their parents' untimely death.

You can care very much about someone without being capable of becoming their primary caregiver in the event of their parents' untimely death.



Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people.

Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people.



It's one thing to be a high achiever; it's quite another to privately sneer at your girlfriend's friends after feigning friendliness because they have the "misfortune" to drive a bus for a living.

It's one thing to be a high achiever; it's quite another to privately sneer at your girlfriend's friends after feigning friendliness because they have the "misfortune" to drive a bus for a living.





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Faith in God is the only force there is.

Faith in God is the only force there is.



It would be better alone, anything is better alone but I don't think I can handle it alone.

It would be better alone, anything is better alone but I don't think I can handle it alone.



Nothing is worth the loss of one's conscience, or the ability to do what is right.

Nothing is worth the loss of one's conscience, or the ability to do what is right.



So the dubbed conceit Played nursery of cheat To clear the I of sleet.

So the dubbed conceit Played nursery of cheat To clear the I of sleet.



The smell of roasting meat together with that of burning fruit wood and dried herbs, as voluptuous as incense in a church, is enough to turn anyone into a budding gastronome

The smell of roasting meat together with that of burning fruit wood and dried herbs, as voluptuous as incense in a church, is enough to turn anyone into a budding gastronome



Experience is in the fingers and head. The heart is inexperienced.

Experience is in the fingers and head. The heart is inexperienced.



My first record deal was an independent record deal back in 1995 or early 1996.

My first record deal was an independent record deal back in 1995 or early 1996.



I have a better internal and intuitive understanding of folklore and myth than science and technology, so in that way fantasy is easier.

I have a better internal and intuitive understanding of folklore and myth than science and technology, so in that way fantasy is easier.



I treat everyone as equals. I can't work if I'm not having fun, and I can't have fun if not everyone is happy.

I treat everyone as equals. I can't work if I'm not having fun, and I can't have fun if not everyone is happy.



In the Second Amendment, it's not about hunting, it's not about target shooting, it's about protecting your home and your family and your life.

In the Second Amendment, it's not about hunting, it's not about target shooting, it's about protecting your home and your family and your life.




Quote Description


This page presents the quote "If you’re so forgetful that you’re incapable of remembering that a co-worker isn’t pregnant on three separate occasions in as many months, I worry about your memory and cognition skills.". Author of this quote is Mallory Ortberg. This quote is about co worker, months, pregnant, occasions, three, worry, family friends, cognition, skills,.