If stealing a few saltshakers was wrong I didn't want to be right.

The world is your oyster... ...too bad you're allergic to shellfish.

Lying to other people is fine and usually funny, but lying to yourself is tacky.

I hate bananas. I just hate them. But I also think a banana suit is the funniest fruit costume a person can wear.

Cowardice, when done correctly, can be its own kind of bravery.

It’s like someone who prays every night saying God’s a good listener. Just because you’re talking to us doesn’t mean we’re listening. With me and God, you never really know.

Mockery when done without prejudice or discretion, can be a form of respect. It's the closest we'll ever come to true equality.

You know, mistress, that I love you, and shall love you always

The Essence Of Success Is Leading Your Business & Life From The Heart

The ideas that have lighted my way have been kindness, beauty and truth.

Jesus Christ can't hit a golf ball straight. It's virtually impossible - at best it's an accident.

Experiences are like hoarded gold. Whenever I dole out a piece of my private suffering, that is when I get letters from all over the world.

Al Gore invented the Internet.

From the outset, the Christian was the theorizing Jew, the Jew is therefore the practical Christian, and the practical Christian has become a Jew again.

One way to remain unfinished is to stop. the other is to go on.

When I was on Broadway, my most recent Broadway show was 'Spring Awakening,' and every night I did a topless scene.

When you get the call from Quentin Tarantino, it's the call of a lifetime. You don't allow yourself to be vulnerable enough or to be fool enough to expect that phone call to happen, in reality.