If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt.

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.

I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship.

I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.

I am really bad at actually interviewing people.

In my experience the difference between a straight and a bisexual is about four pints

I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive.

A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.

The BBC is a victim of its own independence.

I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything.

We always need a reason to live, and we pretend to have it.

If haters hadn't made me angry and made me practice, I wouldn't have gotten this good.

Nothing more completely baffles one who is full of trick and duplicity himself, than straight forward and simple integrity in another.

I'm really lucky to have some super-talented friends.

I was interested in telescopes and the way they worked because I had an intense desire to see what things looked like, so I learned how to use telescopes and find things in the sky.

The prime minister of Ireland will be celebrating St. Patrick's Day at the White House. So finally the Secret Service agents will have a drinking buddy.

An idea that no one believes can not be proved too often.

Weakness is a guise. Wear it when they need to know you're human, but never when you feel it.

I usually look in my eyes to tell the truth of how I'm feeling that day.

Fantasy is the only canvas large enough for me to paint on.