If it's going to really make them happy for me to do it, I'll do Walken. I've got no problem with it at all.

If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.

Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.

If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.

What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.

When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.

I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?

Even as she began to slip into the gloaming of her life, the primal need to live…to survive...clawed at her soul.

Belief isn't supposed to make sense, at least not all the time. In that, it finds its power. It gets to creep up on you and carry you forward. Until you can carry yourself again.

Worship is our first or foundational ministry. It is not our only ministry, but the one that all other spheres of ministry should be built upon.

In general, people are true to their signs.

Within the character of the citizen, lies the welfare of the nation.

Courage encourages courage.

I feel like it's better to see a sermon lived than it is to hear one preached.

Keep all ur troubles in ur own pocket. But, make sure that the pocket has a hole!

Not in the state of unconsciousness, but in full awareness when the higher Power will descend into and direct us, then only the yogic life will begin.

I no longer give Power Point presentations, because I've come to believe that power corrupts, and Power Point corrupts absolutely.