If I told you, you might be forced to lie about it. Not that you aren't really good at it, but why put an old man in that position?

You have a college degree? You can barely talk.

I hate to admit this, but some days hearing about other people's problems actually cheers me up.

Eat your heart out. Oh, wait. You can’t. It’s not organic.

(Kaylee) Tell me I'm pretty, Wash.(Wash) Were I unwed I would take you in a manly fashion.(kaylee) Because I'm pretty?(Wash) Because you're pretty.

The foot feels the foot when it's touched by the ground, like the heart feels the heart when it's no longer bound.

Galileo called doubt the father of invention it is certainly the pioneer.

Such are the heights of wickedness to which men are driven by religion.

I hate when the sun is high and there are no shadows. If I could do super high-budget movies, I would only shoot when the sun starts to get low - but you can't just shoot for four hours every day.

What is needed is an all-out science project to get vehicles off of gasoline, rather than off of the earth.

I became paralyzed as an artist with writer's block.

I don't feel like God called me to be a Gospel singer. He didn't call me to be a Christian singer, he called me to be a country singer, and I just happen to be a Christian.

I'm a bad traveller because I suffer from travel sickness.

I don't get caught in the match-ups, trying to outduel somebody. It's a team game.