I worked in accounting for two and a half years, realized that wasn't what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, and decided I was just going to give comedy a try.

Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.

I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't all that much fun.

I love portraying the totally indifferent person.

I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much.

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.

People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail.

It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.

I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.

I still feel thirty, except when I try to run.

We all knew the great lesson of history

There are two types of actors: those who say they don't want to be famous, and those who are liars.

I learned that I was either crazy in love with you, or putting on the best performance of my life.' -Nora (PG 263)

The number one reason for the death of young actors' careers is people get so used to seeing them playing that one character that they can't accept them as anyone else.

The closer you can live to being a vegetarian the better.

Obviously there will be a backlash. If you believe the hype you have to believe a backlash too. Any criticism we get, is always stuff we've already criticized ourselves.

There's a lot of things in life that we don't know why they're coming exactly at this moment.

I dont walk around chuckling all the time. My outlook is very bleak. Its worse than bleak, its apocalyptic.

For me, the shaping of the story is more important than accuracy.

I'd say the music influences the writing - the music and rhythm of the prose - much more than the writing influences the music.