I was a student in the Department of Anthropology. At that time, they were teaching that there was absolutely no difference between anybody. They may be teaching that still.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

You look angry, " he said."You put me on hold.""For a very good reason.""You put me, " she said very, very slowly, "on hold.

My gratitude for good writing is unbounded

I am not a great fan of the payroll tax holiday because I'm nervous about what it does to the future of Social Security.

I only please myself. I figure I'm just one of many people. I'm not that different from anybody else and I don't have great language - I'm very ordinary.

The worst solitute is to be destitute of true friendship.

Now if I seem to be afraidTo live the life that I have made in songWell it's just that I've been losing so long.

It's so important to just be kind to one another because we aren't walking in that other person's shoes.

My man prefers meat over the bone.

I'm not as serious of a person as people make me out to be. Most people would think that I would be less successful in comedy, but I can crack a joke as well as anyone else.

The great hindrance to the development of this continent has lain in the lack of capital.