I've signed peoples' parole cards at book signings and it's very touching.

It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else.

Don’t sleep with people who don’t read.

My idea of an interesting person is someone who is quite proud of their seemingly abnormal life and turns their disadvantage into a career.

True success is figuring out your life and career so you never have to be around jerks.

Without obsession, life is nothing.

[My catholic education] sticked with me. It caused the rage I had to make 'Pink Flamingos.'

Being rich is not about how much money you have or how many homes you own; it's the freedom to buy any book you want without looking at the price and wondering if you can afford it.

Do we secretly idolize our imagined opposites, yearning to become the role models for others we know we could never be for ourselves?

I like hard movies; I like ones that are basically the opposite of a date movie.

The "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" hitchhiker really made people never want to hitchhike again - the hitcher, the show. Hitchhiking is always vaguely sexual.

Waiting for things to happen is like daydreaming. To break out of that cycle, you must be willing to take the first small step.

The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.

Life is like a library owned by the author. In it are a few books which he wrote himself, but most of them were written for him.

To all my little Hulkamaniacs, say your prayers, take your vitamins and you will never go wrong.

I would jump down Etna for any public good - but I hate a mawkish popularity.

There's no recovery from alcoholism, it is an incurable disease. And it also is a disease that tells you, you don't have a disease.

However much you paid for a beautiful illusion, you got a bargain.

What exactly did people do when they had all the time in the world and could do whatever they liked?

Baseball is a simple game. If you have good players and if you keep them in the right frame of mind then the manager is a success.

We may justly condemn ourselves as the greatest sinners we know because we know more of the folly of our own heart than we do of other people's.