I think that one of the greatest connections and attractions you can have with somebody, is understanding somebody.

Someday, everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, be strong and keep reminding your self that everything happens for a reason.

A man's got two shots for jewelry: a wedding ring and a watch. The watch is a lot easier to get on and off than a wedding ring.

High School is like a spork: it's a crappy spoon and a crappy fork, so in the end it's just plain useless.

People want to see musicians sing things that come from their own mind and own heart in real time, responding to the moment for them.

Sometimes I wish that I was the weather, you'd bring me up in conversation forever. And when it rained, I'd be the talk of the day.

Sometimes I wish that I was a bong hit, you'd let me in and you would love every minute.

Don't be scared to walk alone. Don't be scared to like it.

If you had started doing anything two weeks ago, by today you would have been two weeks better at it.

The biggest mistake I made and what cost me a lot of enjoyment in my life, was assuming that everybody cared. They don’t.

The saddest kind of sad is the sad that tries not to be sad. You know, when sad tries to bite its lip and not cry, and smile and say, "No I'm happy for you"? Thats when it's really sad.

Smirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.

It is only when you meet someone of a different culture from yourself that you begin to realize what your own beliefs really are.

On one tour, I was collecting stories about pet monkeys. You'd be surprised how many people have stories about monkeys. The problem is, most monkey stories end tragically.

The film 'Tapped' illustrates quite clearly how we've been getting 'soaked' for years by the bottled water industry.

Writing is a dog's life, but the only life worth living.

I want to tell them, "Chip, Kim, there is no way to suicide-proof a person.

Beautiful women rarely possess sufficient depth of character to survive without their pretty feathers.

A worker voting for Mitt Romney is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders.

I never outgrew my conversion to atheism at 13, but at various times was a serious cultural Jew.

It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.