I think if you try to look for something to show off as an actor, vanity can get the better of you.

I did not become successful in my work through embracing or engaging in celebrity culture. I never signed away my privacy in exchange for success.

If you chase something too desperately, it eludes you.

When I was a student I was very, very ambitious, completely immersed in my comedy career. I never had that period of reckless hedonism that you should get out of your system in your youth.

I don't like big feet. It reminds me of gammon.

If things don't come easy to you, you have to pull a rabbit out of a hat.

Me, myself, personally, I like to keep myself private. I have never said I am a paragon of virtue, a model of morality. I simply do what I do.

The truth is somewhere in the middle of funny and serious.

The trick is always to write in pairs because if at least two people find it funny, you've immediately halved the odds of it not being funny.

I am of the very last generation who didn't have computers at school. As we grow old we'll become something of an aberration.

Actually the best thing I did was to get thrown out by my wife. She's living with a fitness instructor. He drinks that yellow stuff in tins. He's an idiot.

Let me give you a tip on a clue to men's characters: the man who damns money has obtained it dishonorably

History would indicate that the majority of people have always been sheep.

I didn't have nothin' going for me... school, home... until I found something I loved, which was music, and that changed everything.

When people get scared, they quit giving.

God is a racist! He has a special elite race of supermen who are going to live above all others in the Holy City, the magical, mystical, marvelous, mysterious Space City!

I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office.

Doctor Livingstone, I presume?

Repentance for past crimes is just and easy; but sin-no-more's a task too hard for mortals

Silent mantra practice helps me respond rather than react.

You are nuts and you should be proud of it. Stick with what you believe in.