I realised all the good ideas were taken before I was even born.

... no matter how nice you are to some people, they'll turn their back on you the second they get the chance.

Because it's our choices that makes us who we are.

I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place.

You can't expect everyone to have the same dedication as you.

I'm probably something like 95% chicken nugget

See, when you're a little kid, nobody ever warns you that you've got an expiration date. One day you're hot stuff and the next day you're a dirt sandwich.

So I've started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don't need Santa seeing me in my underwear.

I labored for eight years thinking that I was writing a book for adults that was a nostalgic look back on childhood. Then my publisher informed me I'd written a children's book.

I'm having a seriously hard time getting used to the fact that summer is over and I have to get out of bed every morning to go to school.

Well, the problem is, it's not easy for me to think of ways to improve myself, because I'm pretty much one of the best people I know.

Because he says he can't stand you and you act like you can't stand him, and whenever a man and a woman behave like that toward each other, it usually means something's going on.

Wrestlers Compete as Individuals, Yet the Sport Builds Comradery Like No Other.

Our difficulties launch us into new states of consciousness where we are inspired to step out of the reality of our smallest thoughts and step into the limitless freedom of our biggest dreams.

One writes not by will but by surrender.

There's a lot of people out now around America who depend on checks from their fellow taxpayers being in the mailbox every day.

Ridicule is generally made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking everything praiseworthy in human life.

Search for the truth is the noblest occupation of man; its publication is a duty.

How can you say you're trying to spiritually evolve, without even a thought about what happens to the animals whose lives are sacrificed in the name of gluttony?

With most men, scarce a link of memory holds yesterday and to-day together.

It takes two to make a love affair and a mans meat is too often a woman's poison.