I never thought I was going to have children. I just thought after 45, that was it.

As a writer, the worst thing you can do is work in an environment of fear of rejection.

I suddenly had this really mad desire to have an affair with a woman. I was divorced. I was childless. I figured there's got to be one more way to really tick off my mom.

Time flies, though, huh? But I feel young. And do you know how I stay feeling young, ladies and gentlemen? I'll share my secret with you: I live in a senior citizen retirement community.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

I was over there in Hawaii. I was there on the big island. The 'Big Island' - that name cracks me up. First of all, it's not that big, so I'm pretty sure a guy came up with that name.

They're all sources of material. What I love about what I do, the more you talk about your life, there are so many people who have similar experiences.

All my other relationships with men, there was so much maneuvering and strategic decisions and stuff.

Women, stop buying the lingerie. Stop buying it right now. Oh, it's a big rip off. Oh my god, $18 bucks for panties this big? Come on, one trip through the dryer, and it's a frilly bookmark.

Just be your authentic self because there's nothing sexier or more beautiful than that.

I'm not afraid of putting myself out there to someone and then them passing on it. At least you could have gotten a 'yes.' So it's worthwhile to have the cojones to do it.

I don’t want to be remembered for my work. I want to be remembered for my love.

How one responds in these dire circumstances says a lot about one's faith and the strength of one's beliefs.

It costs a lot of money to look this cheap

I was surprised to see how much the mainstream environmental movement hates the ELF.

Yes, I'm a great believer in angels.

It's a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it's light out.

With fame, I'm able to create more. With every success, you have more freedom to create.

It was a lot of fun doing the Nike commercials, too.

Having a little inflation is like being a little pregnant.

The whole process of making movies and writing screenplays is visceral and intuitive.