I'm a misunderstood genius.""What's misunderstood?""Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

Selling out is usually more a matter of buying in. Sell out, and you’re really buying into someone else’s system of values, rules and rewards.

Heartache wasn't my intention... love was.

A company works best when everybody does the job he is paid to do.

Gross things sound funny and set people up to listen to something a little uninviting.

They didn’t tell me I was going into space until after they locked the shuttle doors and started counting down.

If a dragon has already transferred their consciousness to their heart of hearts, then they will die a true death.

I keep a notebook in my pocket, and I write down all the stuff we could ever do with Foursquare.

When I shoot I'll take my family with me - one movie a year and then the rest of the time at home.

Mathemagical mathematics combines the beauty of mathematical structure with the entertainment value of a trick.

When the POWER OF GOD is present, healing and deliverance are just like BREATHING!

A stoic of the woods,--a man without a tear.