I look back on the time I've wasted, and I'm just glad I wasted it while I still had the chance.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

Maxim 4: Close air support covereth a multitude of sins.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

There’s no path to liberation that doesn’t pass through the shadow.

If coffee is for closers, gold is for prospectors.

Every fact that is learned becomes a key to other facts.

Poetry is what Milton saw when he went blind.

God is glorified, not by our groans, but by our thanksgivings.

When people direct insults at me, I can take it.

I'd been living on the streets of New York, and I was sleeping at my friends' houses, sometimes in the subway.

Home, as far as I'm concerned, is the place you have to leave. And then, if you're like me, spend the rest of your life mourning.

There's less pressure to look good as you get older.