I know more Australian people than I know New Zealand persons. I feel like there's a real gap in my education.

We need to do a better job of understanding what the world is.

I feel like little kids should and do steal money. That is a major part of being a young child.

I get a lot of credit for having succeeded as a Latina in this world, and I am not that. I appreciate it, but I'm Italian. And that does happen a lot.

Stealing money from your parents - I feel like I did that a lot and I now know as an adult that your parents knew how much money they had. Nobody was being fooled.

It's hard to narrow down your influences in comedy.

Run. Yoga. Hike. Generally try to outpace the nerves. If that doesn't work, one Jack on the rocks.

I love my job and I think my job is hard, but also, my job is such a privilege.

If I'm going one place, I want to feel like I can really get the whole vibe.

I am embarrassed to exist.

What have I stolen? Probably money as a kid.

If you want something different out of life, you have to be prepared to try something new.

Progress requires setbacks the only sure way to avoid failure is not to try.

Never make bad predictions, especially about the futture.

Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.

I love watching keep-fit videos while munching chocolate chip cookies.

Every Joke is a Tiny Revolution

As a woman, when you embrace where you are in life, then I think the struggle [life] isn't so hard. If you're 42 and still think you're an ingenue, then you've got a problem.

America already is great, but we are great because we are good, and we will respect one another, and we will work with one another, and we will celebrate our diversity.

Everyone has an equal right to inequality.

A sad tale's best for winter. I have one of sprites and goblins.