I am embarrassed to exist.

We need to do a better job of understanding what the world is.

I feel like little kids should and do steal money. That is a major part of being a young child.

I get a lot of credit for having succeeded as a Latina in this world, and I am not that. I appreciate it, but I'm Italian. And that does happen a lot.

Stealing money from your parents - I feel like I did that a lot and I now know as an adult that your parents knew how much money they had. Nobody was being fooled.

It's hard to narrow down your influences in comedy.

Run. Yoga. Hike. Generally try to outpace the nerves. If that doesn't work, one Jack on the rocks.

I love my job and I think my job is hard, but also, my job is such a privilege.

If I'm going one place, I want to feel like I can really get the whole vibe.

What have I stolen? Probably money as a kid.

Australia's massive. I don't have a lot of downtime.

If I’m writing, at least I don’t feel as paralyzed.

Be sure to ask for help, and vent or brag on your progress along the way.

I am afraid to die, though, ' I whispered to myself. These turned out to be my last words. They were not very impressive words, but it was too late to change them.

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.

If voting could change anything, it would be illegal.

The single biggest threat to man's continued dominance on the planet is the virus.

My ancestors were Freethinkers - and that's what I am, except we're called secular humanists now.

We should be building great things that don't exist.

The ultimate form of love for God and men is forgiveness.

What I really want is a commercial hit. If youre in a hit, youre suddenly a star, whether you acted well or not.