I have known heaven, and now I am in hell, and there are mimes.

And don't tell me the end justifies the means because it doesn't. We never reach the end. All we ever get is means. That's what we live with.

That's what you get for ignoring the beauty of Tupperware.

The tree of nonsense is watered with error, and from its branches swing the pumpkins of disaster.

Ninjas are silly. They are the flower fairies of gong fu and karate.

Photography is without mercy--though it's nonsense to say it does not lie. Rather, it lies in a particular, capricious way which makes beggars of ministers and gods of cat's meat men.

We need to create the institutions that will support the society we want to live in. The only answer is collective action.

I love you forever. I am sorry I cannot love you now.

Children, bored and opinionated, are scholars of the most dogmatic stripe.

Law is error, you see. It's an attempt to write down a lot of things everyone ought to know anyway.

Nowhere have I ever heard of Satan taking the form of an avuncular hippie. No doubt he could. It just seems inefficient.

Lady Ponsonby was right. The forbidden fruit isn't shaped like an apple. It's shaped like a banana.

Compassion means knowing that I may never find that person who understands my pain but through my struggle I can become one who understands.

She meant it as a compliment.

God is that inner presence which makes us admire the beautiful and consoles us for not sharing the happiness of the wicked.

When you know that you're capable of dealing with whatever comes, you have the only security the world has to offer.

I am very comfortable with conflict, be it of the legal or mortal kind. My father was a mediator, a bridge maker. I am a grave maker.

The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.

I could never begin a poem: 'When I am dead' In case it tempted Fate, and Fate gave way.

If there is a God, the phrase that must disgust him is - holy war.