I don't really think of my essays as being about myself. I know it sounds insane, but I just don't think of them as a memoir. They're essays; they're not an autobiography.

Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality.

Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who know where their high school yearbook is and those who do not.

If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can't afford to be with them.

Unless you are a professional, you will find the tart to be a high-maintenance, unforgiving whistle-blower of a pastry.

I would gladly have accepted a heaping spoonful of nepotism when I got out of college and was looking for a job.

Book tours are such a little tapas meal of where I could live.

No affair that begins with such an orchestrated overture can end on a simple note.

Uniqueness is wasted on youth. Like fine wine or a solid flossing habit, you'll be grateful for it when you're older.

I like to try to do a little work before I do anything in the morning, even if it's a paragraph.

Nobody works better under pressure. They just work faster.

The greatest conduct is love in action.

technology murdered childhood.

Where you been, girl?” Harvey answered. “I’ve been sendin’ you twits for the last hour.

What five members of the Supreme Court say the law is may be something vastly different from what Congress intended the law to be.

My young friend, I wish that science would intoxicate you as much as our good Göttingen beer! Upon seeing a student staggering down a street.

I will not let somebody who traffics in bigotry and bullying become president of the United States.

A true friend is a light in the dark. Viven

To me, bravery is to stand up for what you believe in.

Love, even of the most ardent and soul-destroying kind, is never caught by the lens of the camera.