I don't know whether I'm misanthropic. It seems to me I'm constantly disappointed. I'm very easily disappointed.

I can't think of anything that excites a greater sense of childlike wonder than to be in a country where you are ignorant of almost everything.

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age.

If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar-playing, you will have some idea of what popular Turkish music is like.

That's the trouble with losing your mind; by the time it's gone, it's too late to get it back.

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old.

Geologists are never at a loss for paperweights.

Of all the things I am not very good at, living in the real world is perhaps the most outstanding.

Physics is really nothing more than a search for ultimate simplicity, but so far all we have is a kind of elegant messiness.

Protons give an atom its identity, electrons its personality.

Why is it, I wondered, that old people are always so self-centered and excitable? But I just smiled benignly and stood back, comforted by the thought that soon they would be dead.

It is reasonable to love the Absolute absolutely for the same reason it is reasonable to love the relative relatively.

A guilty conscience is jealousy's playground.

Here's the deal. I get to marry you. You get to become a Garrett - although, considering what you're marrying into, I'm not certain that's much of an incentive."Dallas to Amy

This is by far the most serious crisis civilisation has ever faced.

Don't get ahead of yourself. Companies need time to figure out what they want to be.

In no obvious sense was the American Revolution undertaken as a social revolution.

China and the U.S. need each other very badly. Yes, we should argue about some things, but it's not an 'us versus them,' it's an 'us and them' type scenario.

I applaud anything that can take a kid away from a PlayStation or a Gameboy. That is a miracle in itself.

I am not a man of many words, but I can honestly say playing football is all I have ever wanted to do.

Now as the Paradisiacal pleasures of the Mahometans consist in playing upon the flute and lying with Houris, be mine to read eternal new romances of Marivaux and Crebillon.