I don't know about you, but I like to fall in love on Mondays. This way if things go south right away you still have the weekend.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

I like working alone. I feel freer, less constrained. I know what I have to do and I try to do it. There are no superficial hangups.

The most dangerous negativity comes from ourselves in the form of doubts, fears and unreasonable self-criticisms.

Prayer is the acid test of devotion.

I was eleventh-grade class president. That was the first elective office I held until I came into Congress.

Religion is in the heart, not in the knees.

Breathing is the first act of life, and the last.

All girls hit that phase where they like the bad boy. I grew out of that really young and I have a wonderful guy in my life who's not a bad boy at all. I like the satiric, consistent nice guy.

Sometimes you can learn things from the way a person denies something. The choice of lies can be almost as helpful as the truth.

You never have real changes unless you have a time of crisis.