I don't get nearly enough credit in life for the things I manage not to say.

Perhaps the way to succeed is to think of life on Earth as a colossal joke, a creation of such immense stupidity that the only way to live is to laugh until you think your heart will break.

The imagination can be dangerous. It can change the world. And that is why we write.

Self-knowledge is essential not only to writing, but to doing almost anything really well. It allows you to work through from a deep place - from the deep, dark corners of your subconscious mind.

Osbert was the only one who didn't seem suspicious. He was so interested in the Decline of Western Civilization that he missed the version of it taking place under his nose.

This was what happiness felt like - this wondrous, miraculous alternative to dread.

While working in advertising, I channelled my creative energy into elaborate escape fantasies: cake making, dog breeding, the Peace Corps.

Things Happen and once they start happening you pretty much just to hold on for dear life and see where they drop you when they stop.

If you haven't been in a war and are wondering how long it takes to get used to losing everything you think you need or love, I can tell you the answer is no time at all.

The soldier had stamped my passport FAMILY in heavy black capital letters and I checked it now for reassurance and because I liked how fierce the word looked

Ask any comedian, tennis player, chef. Timing is everything.

The bustle in a houseThe morning after deathIs solemnest of industriesEnacted upon earth, --The sweeping up the heart, And putting love awayWe shall not want to use againUntil eternity

Any book which inspires us to lead a better life is a good book.

A man who does not like power will suffer from its cruelty.

This is what you do. You make a future for yourself out of the raw material at hand.

I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy.

You have to listen to the one who calls you beloved. That has to be affirmed over and over again. That is prayer - listening to the voice of the one who calls you "the beloved."

Do I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly, or do I choose to live and die in fear?

There is an immeasurable distance between late and too late.

So much of our time is spent in preparation, so much in routine, and so much in retrospect, that the amount of each person's genius is confined to a very few hours.

Lay your sleeping head, my love, Human on my faithless arm.