I am so tired of rearranging my life around what the stupidest people might do.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

When I die, I plan to be laughing hysterically.

I write to shed my tears.

How many roads must a man walk down Before you call him a man?

If everybody who voted in 2008 shows up in 2010, we will win this election. We will win this election.

It would be easier to be tough on Russian than make a deal. I don't know if we'll make a deal.

Slowing down is the precursor to Yoga practice because this simple act allows us to consider our thoughts, feelings and actions more carefully in the light of our desire to live peacefully.

If you don't do what's best for your body, you're the one who comes up on the short end.

A word may become so defiled by bad use that it will take a century before it can be purifed, and brought into use again.

The truest end of life is to know the life that never ends.

Weave the circle, tightly sewn, Let nothing evil or unknown Enter within. Stay without On pain of death, we cast you out.