I agree that someone falling down is really funny, and I can go on YouTube and watch people falling. It makes me laugh.

If Edison was worried about his candle customers, he would have never invented the light bulb.

Everyone’s default state is this pleasantry state. My goal in the show is to undercut that as quickly as possible. If you really do let it sit, it’s sometimes amazing what comes out of people.

Make sure your not followed! Don’t go anywhere

Vice President Spiro Agnew can not cheat on his score : because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded.

Food - there's no greater gift.

All Americans need a sense of place. That's what makes our physical surroundings worth caring about.

Luckier than one's neighbor, but still not happy.

There's not a business or a master plan as far as I'm concerned. I take it week by week, and I don't think you ever expect to be able to do the next thing.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I have been a vulnerable target for those who want money.

No man undertakes a trade he has not learned, even the meanest; yet everyone thinks himself sufficiently qualified for the hardest of all trades, that of government.

Im the most boring person to talk to.