Howie's doctor told him to lose ten pounds, and since Howie's been on a diet he's gained three.

You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."-

I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur

The 'Barnaby' books were always intended to be graphic novels.

I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.

When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.

My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco.

Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.

-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-

Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.

Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.

To attain any assured knowledge about the soul is one of the most difficult things in the world.

Sometimes we read or hear too much news that makes us fearful or suspicious of others. We can forget that most of the people that we know, or at least encounter regularly, are decent and friendly.

Don't neglect the gold in your own back yard.

I certainly liked performing [Patrick Bateman], but it was because he thinks he's so [bloody] cool and just the [stuff], but is really such a cheesy dork.

My theory is that church used to be that place. Instead of being a place where you went to look good, it was a place where you could risk going every week to look your worst.

The fact that wealthy people or people from privileged backgrounds may wind up in a violent terrorist organization is not new.

Yes I am finally hanging up my boots for good.

The basis of good manners is self-reliance. Necessity is the law of all who are not self-possessed.

I believe all of us only use one tenth of our brain. I know people who use one per cent only!

Human capital will go where it is wanted, and it will stay where it is well treated. It cannot be driven; it can only be attracted.