Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey stoopid.

The two most joyous times of the year are Christmas morning and the end of school.

If you're listening to a rock star in order to get your information on who to vote for, you're a bigger moron than they are.

Drinking beer is easy. Trashing your hotel room is easy. But being a Christian, that's a tough call. That's rebellion.

Mistakes are part of the game. It's how well you recover from them, that's the mark of a great player.

The hippies wanted peace and love. We wanted Ferraris, blondes and switchblades.

The only real person you need to know is you.

Just because I cut the heads off dolls doesn't mean I hate babies, I just hate dolls.

He (Marilyn Manson) has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original.

I was one thing at one time, and I'm something new. I'm a new creature now. Don't judge Alice by what he used to be. Praise God for what I am now.

The best things in life don't make sense

People of balance age as gracefully as wines of balance.

John K. Samson is fluent in the inexpressible. Find him on the page or find him in the ether-just find him

I couldn't walk down any street in Britain without being laughed at. It was a nightmare. My children were devastated because their dad was a figure of ridicule.

I must learn what I can to teach what I must.

The fact -- not theory -- that evolution has occurred and the Darwinian theory as to how it occurred have become so confused in popular opinion that the distinction must be stressed.

Subjectivity is my middle name, a trick memory is my pack mule, and self-contradiction is my trusty old jackknife.

Wise women tuck Godly wisdom into the words they speak and even more into the words they choose not to speak.

I used to think that communing with nature was a healing, positive thing. Now, I think I'd like to commune with other things - like room service and temperature control.

The Islamic world is obsessed with the notion of strong leaders. This is a mistake. We don't need powerful leaders, but rather unconventional, progressive thinkers with the courage to open our minds.