He's no idiot, in fact he's a genius... and that's as far from an idiot as you can get without reaching madness.

They don't make you pay for the humor. It's up and down, but they're trying to give you as many laughs as possible in 2 minutes. They are the most honest comedians ever.

I went to a Catholic high school and it seemed like every time I drew something for a class project, it either got thrown away by the teacher or something.

I often feel that my life, much like my shows, will end on a cliffhanger.

When you work for other people you'll find ... that they do know what's best for them, and for the company. And you should listen to them and be respectful, but they don't know what's best for you.

Who is Mike Judge? Let me think. The only way I could possibly answer that question would be in a nonverbal fashion. I think I could do an interpretive dance that would answer that question for you.

It was really weird, when this thing started, to hear lawyers and MTV people calling me and actually saying 'ButtHead.' People tried to avoid it too.

I've seen a lot of pairs of guys that have been hanging out together way too long-until they're laughing all the time.

They say it figures MTV would do such a vulgar, awful, horrible show and they completely miss that it's satirizing the people who watch MTV.

Why should every single character be an honor student who goes around helping others and never doing anything wrong? Is that like the rule or something?

I like the Stooges. You know what movie I saw that I sort of discovered late was Jerry Lewis in 'The Nutty Professor'. I really liked that.

We all face difficult times. It is only the grace of God that gives strength to endure.

Whatever your mind can conceive and can believe, it can achieve

If someone around you is multitasking, you pick up distraction like second-hand smoke.

The things of nature are the Lord's silent ministers, given to us to teach us spiritual truths. They speak to us of the love of God and declare the wisdom of the great Master Artist.

The soul that journey's to God, but doesn't shake off it's cares and quiet it's appetities, is like someone who drags a cart of dirt uphill.

Punctuation is a fabulous tool for controlling your reader - you even get to control where they breathe. That's what I call power!

Don't try to be original; just try to be good.

To be an artist, you have to nurture the things that most people discard.

Certainly, the Bush Administration will rely in the first instance on its friends, since it would be both illogical and counterproductive to reward its adversaries.

The hardest thing I think I've ever had to do to tell you, the woman I love, that I'm having a baby by a woman that I barely know.