He is a fine friend. He stabs you in the front.

A pessimist sees only the dark side of the clouds and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides and shrugs; an optimist doesn't see the clouds at all - he's walking on them.

Chicago - a pompous Milwaukee.

History is the short trudge from Adam to atom.

I wish I'd known you when you were alive.

Book - what they make a movie out of for television.

Only the dead have no troubles.

A university is a college with a stadium seating over 40,000.

A doctor is a man licensed to make grave mistakes.

Truth and falsehood pass through the same lips and leave no mark, the devil does not cease to be the devil just because he may have spoken the truth.

The roof of my house is covered in solar panels. When Im home, Im a pretty green fellow.

Courage is the moment when an ordinary being becomes an extraordinary being.

Alcoholics are mostly disappointed men.

Time heals all things but one: Time.

Only he who gives thanks for the little things receives the big things.

It's a long, slow sunset for ink-on-paper magazines, but sunsets can produce vast sums of money.

Average wages now are still just barely above poverty, and one out of three Americans cannot afford healthcare even with the insurance,with jobs.

I love doing scripted things. What little acting ability I have I am holding on with my hangnails.

No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has.