He [Iggy] started reaching for things around the table, and his hand landed on Total. “You’re black.” “I prefer canine-American,” said Total.

Good memories are like charms...Each is special. You collect them, one by one, until one day you look back and discover they make a long, colorful bracelet.

Your mind creates your reality. If you expect nothing, you open up the universe to give you options. If you expect the worst, you usually get it.

A friend of mine once defined love as finding someone you can talk to late into the night

Some poeple just don't have what it takes to appreciate a cookie.

Oh great. Yoda captured us.

Who, last time I'd checked, was still on our official archenemy list. (Yes, we have to keep a list. It's kind of sad.)

They call me, The Sharkalator

At that moment I had no mind to change, or not change, or throw against the nearest wall.

I don't get a chance to be funny with the thrillers. I like to be funny, and I think I am really funny. So with 'Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life', it was fun to let loose.

I had to give him props, but how annoying of him to be a hero when I was trying so hard to dislike him. It was downright selfish.

You don’t have to have had something to want it or need it but when you have something you liked… very much… and it is taken away, and you want it back, it can become a hunger.

Great leaders are teachable leaders.

The soft whispers of the God in man.

To be a man is precisely to be responsible.

Sometimes chemistry does the trick, and other times, you have to forge that with the people.

Just because you have stopped sinking doesn't mean you're not still underwater.

When people ask you to do stuff, it's not your idea anymore, so it's tough to get behind it.

For a perfect holiday I need my iPhone and my writing tools. I write all my books by hand so black felt pens and yellow legal pads are a must. And my eyebrow pencil. I'm very low-maintenance.

That's the easy thing about falling: there is only one choice after that.

Maybe my pain was my motivation.