Had your forefathers, Wigglesworth, been as stupid as you are, the human race would never have succeeded in procreating itself.

Sometimes there is no next time, no time-outs, no second chances. Sometimes it’s now or never.

Life is rather like a tin of sardines - we're all of us looking for the key.

All knowledge is precious whether or not it serves the slightest human use.

History is a commentary on the various and continuing incapabilities of men. What is history? History is women following behind with the bucket.

A bookshelf is as particular to its owner as are his or her clothes; a personality is stamped on a library just as a shoe is shaped by the foot.

If you think squash is a competitive activity, try flower arranging.

The majority of people perform well in a crisis and when the spotlight is on them; it's on the Sunday afternoons of this life, when nobody is looking, that the spirit falters.

Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall.

I saw someone peeing in Jermym Street the other day. I thought, is this the end of civilization as we know it? Or is it simply someone peeing in Jermyn Street?

Above literature?' said the Queen. 'Who is above literature? You might as well say one was above humanity.

A relationship isn't something that has to be created in a day or perfected in a day. Part of the game is to keep working on it. It's something that'll always be just a little flawed.

Don't let what you fear stop you from pursuing it. For the most part, what you fear doesn't even know that you are afraid of it.

Suffering is not increased by numbers. One body can contain all the suffering the world can feel.

The trouble is that neutrality is confused with hostility. We're not disrupting churches, or interrupting people's prayers. We're not fighting religion.

One of the things that got me transitioning from physical science to brain science was asking, Why do we understand so much about the universe?

Never, under any circumstance, do I touch soup, as I do not believe in building a meal on a lake.

Knowledge is power, and for each level of knowledge, you are held responsible for how you use it.

Youth eats all the sugared fancy cakes and regards them as its daily bread. But there'll come a time when you'll start asking just for a crust.

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

All Nature will commune with you when you are in tune with God. Realization of this truth will make you a master of your destiny.