Forty freaked me out. I didn't see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos - I was moving jobs and moving house - and it just hit me like a ton of bricks.

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.

I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship.

I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.

I am really bad at actually interviewing people.

In my experience the difference between a straight and a bisexual is about four pints

I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive.

A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.

The BBC is a victim of its own independence.

I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything.

I feel a part of the congregation. I've never had to do special music. The kids sing in the choir. It's just normal. We're treated like everybody else.

When you look at the results on an after-fee, after-tax basis over reasonably long periods of time, there's almost no chance that you end up beating the index fund.

Our society pushes "family" because once people have families, the chance of becoming active lessens.

All of the penciling was consistently done by one person and the inking was whoever could finish on time.

That is ever the way. Tis all jealousy to the bride and good wishes to the corpse.

The skyline is etched in my veins. You can never put that out, no matter how hard it rains.

I believe in natural gas as a clean, cheap alternative to fossil fuels.

But as far as I'm concerned, I can still play defense.

The key to life was rearranging the furniture.

I'm from Texas, we fry everything.