Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

As we open up our church meetings to God's power, they will not always follow a predetermined schedule or order. Who can outline what God might have in mind?

We're running the most dangerous experiment in history right now, which is to see how much carbon dioxide the atmosphere... can handle before there is an environmental catastrophe.

People who are combative in one relationship tend to be combative in other relationships.

The drug which makes sexuality palatable in popular mythology.

Our imagination it is our greatest ally . . . Imagination is a very, very powerful thing. It literally invents the path before you.

All great actions return to God, from whom they are derived.

We mock the things we are to be.

We're introducing separate rooms with double beds in all of our planes so people can actually go with their partner and have a proper night's sleep...

Greed often finds more pleasure in taking from others than in giving to itself.

Boxing's given me the chance to travel around the world and open the door and the world is much brighter.