Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.

Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.

I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.

A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'

Bold people dance happily when they are confronted with life’s adventures... they see themselves going through with smiles... Give no excuse for being a coward. Be bold!

When stumbling blocks can become stepping stones, then these stones that the builders reject can equally become chief corner stones!

He is not only idle who does nothing but he is idle who might be better employed.

Treat other animals as friends and they become friends. Treat other animals as family and they become family. Give other animals your love and they will love you in return.

Why should your heart not dance?

..Advantage of the Bible is that it is profitable for training in righteous living.

I've been dreaming of mirrors. Millions of mirrors, reflecting people to death.

Reason is a very light rider, and easily shook off.

When a pagan race comes in contact with a Christian race, they are converted, absorbed, or exterminated.

Don't make your own life your project in your own life: total waste of time.