Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.

One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.

To avoid the pain of loss, give up attachment.

Marathon tidying produces a heap of garbage. At this stage, the one disaster that can wreak more havoc than an earthquake is the entrance of that recycling expert who goes by the alias of "mother.

Men desire to have some share in the management of public affairs chiefly on account of the importance which it gives them.

I am impressed with the natural health programs at Nature Care College. Their dedication to quality education is truly inspiring.

The wine in the bottle does not quench thirst.

And sometimes you held somebody’s hand just to prove that you were still alive, and that another human being was there to testify to that fact.

At every wedding someone stays home.

As a kid in British Columbia, going back a long way, I learned to skate.

I still love him. And here's the worst part. I want him back. - Ree

One always writes comedy at the moment of deepest hysteria.