Cosmetics is the science of a woman's cosmos.

The streets of Vienna are paved with culture, the streets of other cities with asphalt.

Someone who can write aphorisms should not fritter away his time in essays.

Corruption is worse than prostitution. The latter might endanger the morals of an individual, the former invariably endangers the morals of the entire country.

I had a terrible vision: I saw an encyclopedia walk up to a polymath and open him up.

The sound principle of a topsy-turvy lifestyle in the framework of an upside-down world order has stood every test.

An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

A writer is someone who can make a riddle out of an answer.

Newspapers have roughly the same relationship to life as fortune-tellers to metaphysics.

Christianity has enriched the erotic meal with the appetizer of curiosity and spoiled it with the dessert of remorse.

The devil is an optimist if he thinks he can make people worse than they are.

People don’t mind Christianity until you show any sign of actually believing in it

Ignorance is bliss Knowing is depressing Wisdom is peace

A monoculture is not only Hollywood, but Americans trying to export democracy.

I like a girl with a substantial bottom,' said Renoir, drawing in the air the size bottom he preferred.

I get tired of playing a guy who gets into a fight, then starts singing to the guy he's just beat up.

Politics is the art of postponing decisions until they are no longer relevant.

Rage was sometimes a useful ally in the heat of a fight, but it was a trickster. It made everything seem possible.

Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirred.

People want to go back to those old days, but it's probably not going to happen.

Ambition, the soldier's virtue.