Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.

Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

I think you better hurry along with that French toast making, Stud. You know—before my fetus eats your face.”“It would be equally as delicious.

People change, and so do their aspirations, and so should brands.

I am imagination. I can see what the eyes cannot see. I can hear what the ears cannot hear. I can feel what the heart cannot feel.

I am who I am, I am what I am, I do what I do and I ain't never gonna do it any different. I don't care who likes it and who don't.

I'm always nervous about singing...always. It may be one of the only things I sweat about.

The Golden Arches are now more widely recognized than the Christian cross.

If you don't change the direction you are going, then you're likely to end up where you're heading.

Maybe something is wrong with me but I just think I'm normal. I'm not super-skinny but I'm not super-fat. But I don't really care about what other people say.

If you are still breathing, you have a second chance.

For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert, but for every fact there is not necessarily an equal and opposite fact.