Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Every poem is an infant labored into birth and I am drenched with sweating effort, tired from the pain and hurt of being a man, in the poem I transform myself into a woman.

Each and every decision you make, regardless of its level of intensity, is vitally important as you seek to do God’s will.

Death brings release & removal from all evil, every tragedy & all difficulty. Death is not an enemy.

The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.

It is only in adventure that some people succeed in knowing themselves - in finding themselves.

The great enemy of morality is indifference.

Wishes run over in loquacious impotence, will presses on with laconic energy.

The religion that is afraid of science dishonors God and commits suicide.

"That we're dysfunctional and toxic!""We were dysfunctional and toxic," I correct her.

Nature seems to delight in disappointing the assiduities of art, with which it would rear legitimate dulness to maturity; and to glory in the vigour and luxuriance of her chance productions.