COUGHS. These are symptoms, not diseases. Take them to your doctor and he can give you something serious to worry about.

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret of happiness. Then if you're not a good mixer you can always fall back on your own company.

The French are a logical people, which is one reason the English dislike them so intensely. The other is that they own France, a country which we have always judged to be much too good for them.

I don’t work. I merely inflict myself on the public.

The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters.

The ball is man's most disastrous invention, not excluding the wheel.

A party: one arrives long after it's started, and one's going to leave long before it's over.

Every child should be placed on a doorstep to sell something. It's the best possible training for life.

When I asked my accountant if anything could get me out of the mess I am in now, he thought for a long time, and I didn't care much for his answer. 'Yes,' he said. 'Death would help.'

Most owners are at length able to teach themselves to obey their dog.

But I couldn’t comprehend this making friends business. My friends had always made me.

It was Red Rock Canyon. One of the most beautiful places in Waterton... in the Rockies, for that matter. And it was there, waiting for him to find it. As long as he was willing to look for it.

Strong jealousy in a beautiful love is the autumn in the middle of a hot summer!

People who use time wisely spend it on activities that advance their overall purpose in life.

As the fathers live, so the children play.

The one foreign policy issue that Donald Trump took a stand on was that he was against the Iraq war. Even though it wasn't true, he kept saying again and again and again.

The goal is not to speculate on what might happen, but to imagine what you can make happen.

Do I create conflicts for myself? Sure I do.

We are and we know we are and we love to be it and know it.

There are other people who have it a lot worse