Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but it was the man who invented the meter who made the money.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.

One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.

You can win in business by playing checkers until someone sneaks in one night after you’ve closed for the day and flips the board.

Nice dress, ” Victoria said.“Thank you, ” Perpetua said. “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”Victoria blinked. “Uh, what?

The world's major religions: Same boss, different departments.

Occasions for defining moments do not arise every day. When they do, we must seize the opportunities they present for improving everyone's life.

I think a lot of people were like, "Oh, you're 13, you're gonna rebel." But I was never in public school and I was never really forced to do much of anything, as a kid.

When you are not meditating, eliminate hate, doubt, fear, anxiety, negative thoughts and emotions that limit your consciousness, that bind you to a sense of self, of ego.

Fear is a part of everything you do ... You have to take great risks to get big rewards.

Forced to choose between limiting population or trying to increase food production, we chose the latter and ended up with starvation, warfare, and tyranny.

I wouldn't want to bring a kid into this crazy world right now.

I believe in all that has never yet been spoken.