Begin your story with a sentence that will immediately grab hold of your listener's ears like a surly nun in a Catholic school.

Well I went to New Orleans to cover the jazz festival for Trio, it's this new arts channel, it's really great.

Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.

Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.

I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.

I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive.

I have always wanted a bunny and I'll always have a rabbit the rest of my life.

although it has been said that idle hands are the devil's workshop, when it comes to teenagers, both idle and active hands are the devil's workshop.

I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd get your supplies, and then you'd use your imagination.

Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.

You know when you watch old movies, it's always the small parts you remember, the character actors who come in like a breath of fresh air.

If I need a cause for celebration, Or a comfort I can use to ease my mind, I rely on my imagination, And I dream of an imaginary time.

A fight can express things people might not be able to say with words.

I don't even know what sound is, much less what it's for. It isn't to make money that's for sure. I've never made any.

My friends joke because I will take my clothes off, at the drop of a hat.

I think my work has become more interesting, well to me anyway.

Ah yes, the man or the crown. I'm afraid some can't tell the difference.

Success means to wake up, grow up, and show up, living your unique self, giving your unique gifts to the larger evolutionary symphony of life which needs your music.

I'm here, and I do my best to be completely centered at the place I'm at, then I go forward to the next place.

If anybody ever dares to compare Bob Dole to Clinton, then they're comparing a criminal to an honest man.

Every liberal in the country must watch Fox News for one year, and every conservative in the country must watch MSNBC for one year. (Middle-of-the-roaders could stick with CSI)