Be cautious of bears at all times, even when being mauled by a tiger.

Blanket statements are always stupid. NO EXCEPTIONS!

During a heat wave every dude stinks.

Visiting Saturn sounds like a lot of fun but you will die!

It's better to have a broken CD player that worked once than to never have evolved into a self-aware carbon based lifeform.

Bird Poop in the mouth is always a surprise.

Cars and bumper cars are two very different things. NEVER sleep in a bumper car.

Nothing is perfect. Therefore, being perfect is being nothing… and that's a great way to lose weight.

The good thing about living like me is everywhere you go is a step up.

At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote.

Failure is not an option. It just happens all the time. Like, all the time.

Being insulted by a smart-mouthed little punk like you.. really pisses me off!

Force works on servile natures, not the free.

What is the beginning? Love. What is the course. Love still. What the goal. The goal is love.

Whoever doesn't flare up at someone who's angry wins a battle hard to win.

California ... produces the maximum of scenery and the minimum of weather.

We are all #humans and we all make #mistakes. We #hurt people even if we don't want to.

I just felt from personal observation that there is nothing more dislocated or alienated than a lifelong military person trying to cope in civilian life. It's like two completely separate planets.

You should point to the whole man Jesus and say, That is God.

Its no secret that the Democrats and liberal media would love to take away our guns and mandate every aspect of our lives, but I refuse to let them get away with that.