Baseball would be a better game if more third basemen got hit in the mouth by line drivers.

If a caddie can help you, you don't know how to play golf.

A good one iron shot is about as easy to come by as an understanding wife.

Always keep in mind that if God didn't want a man to have mulligans, golf balls wouldn't come three to a sleeve.

I am among those who firmly believe that a round of golf should not take more than three and a half hours, four at most. Anything longer than that is not a round of golf, it's life in Albania.

The devoted golfer is an anguished soul who has learned a lot about putting, just as an avalanche victim has learned a lot about snow.

Laughter is the only thing that'll cut trouble down to a size where you can talk to it.

Only two things can stop Tiger — injury or a bad marriage.

Regardless of what the tour pros think, golf is a rich and varied game, and what all of us awkward fools do on weekends is what golf is truly all about.

Lonnie says it doesn't take long to write a song if you're stricken with a severe case of the Tennysons. He wasn't necessarily talking about a chart-climber.

Every golfer has at least 14 enemies: his clubs.

True wisdom comes in understanding that sometimes, you are both the prison and the key.

If a team is to reach its potential, each player must be willing to subordinate his personal goals to the good of the team.

The ultimate aim of education is to enable individuals to become the architects of their own education and through that process to continually reinvent themselves.

You look at your past and things that are unresolved and figure out what you need to do to move forward and fill a role with your family and in your community.

There seems to be a law that governs all our actions so I never make plans.

There was no one really like John Bender at my high school.

If I'm not on tour, I can run down to the comedy club and do a little stand-up. If you're an actor, you can't go - I guess there's forms of it.

When I first got a guitar, it was a Spanish, classical thing.

The world loves to be deceived.

Bring on the shackles - I'm your prisoner