At around 19 I realized that I really didn't have any skills other than making people laugh, so I should probably pursue it full-time.

You ever spent eight hours acting in water? It's a lot easier to get in and out of a bath. Hot tubs are bad news for actors, man.

I love Billy Joel. I cry sometimes when I hear 'The Stranger.' 'You May Be Right' may be one of the greatest songs ever written.

There's a common misconception with sketch comedy that you just go up there and wing it, but it's written, and there really is order.

For me, why would a Jew want to go anywhere in history ever? I'm only going to have to run.

I am what they call a chubby-skinny guy. I appear to be normal and have the look of an in-shape man, but if we were to go to a pool party I would go with my shirt on.

I think journalism can come from anywhere, and comedy can certainly come from anywhere.

Well, you can't improvise story, which is a fact. If you could, the budget would be insane.

The only place I want to travel to is the United States Of America from 2008 to 2016. Anywhere else is a horribly dangerous time for women and minorities.

I love Obama. He's my favorite president of all time. I have a giant picture in my apartment in New York that is of his Chicago Tribune cover, Mr. President.

America is never great. America is great in what it can be, which is the American dream.

Sleeping beauty awoke at the kiss of a scientist and expired at the fatal puncture of his syringe.

He realized that, despite the dangers and alarms of the day, waiting was perhaps the worst thing of all.

Women do not have as great a need for poetry because their own essence is poetry.

Silence and invisibility go hand in hand with powerlessness.

Do not run away; let go. Do not seek; for it will come when least expected.

Is there not something wanted, Miss Price, in our language - a something between compliments and - and love - to suit the sort of friendly acquaintance we have had together?

A French traveler with a sore throat is a wonderful thing to behold, but it takes more than tonsillitis to prevent a Frenchman from boasting.

The meekest of animals will fight bravely when it is backed against a wall, for it has nothing left to lose. A poor man is more deadly than a rich man because he puts less value on his own life.

If my life were a song the title would be 'The Comeback Kid.'

So how come it looks so beautiful? How come the moon falls from the sky?