The only place I want to travel to is the United States Of America from 2008 to 2016. Anywhere else is a horribly dangerous time for women and minorities.

You ever spent eight hours acting in water? It's a lot easier to get in and out of a bath. Hot tubs are bad news for actors, man.

I love Billy Joel. I cry sometimes when I hear 'The Stranger.' 'You May Be Right' may be one of the greatest songs ever written.

At around 19 I realized that I really didn't have any skills other than making people laugh, so I should probably pursue it full-time.

There's a common misconception with sketch comedy that you just go up there and wing it, but it's written, and there really is order.

For me, why would a Jew want to go anywhere in history ever? I'm only going to have to run.

I am what they call a chubby-skinny guy. I appear to be normal and have the look of an in-shape man, but if we were to go to a pool party I would go with my shirt on.

I think journalism can come from anywhere, and comedy can certainly come from anywhere.

Well, you can't improvise story, which is a fact. If you could, the budget would be insane.

I love Obama. He's my favorite president of all time. I have a giant picture in my apartment in New York that is of his Chicago Tribune cover, Mr. President.

America is never great. America is great in what it can be, which is the American dream.

Words are weapons stronger than he knows. And songs are even greater. The words wake the mind. The melody wakes the heart.

Wanderlust is incurable.

A man to carry on a successful business must have imagination. He must see things in a vision, a dream of the whole thing.

That'd be good. That'd be a right good laugh, man. Ye cannae catch me shuttin' up, man

God gave women instinct and womanliness. Utilized appropriately, the combo effortlessly disorders the mind of any man I've ever met.

Food and fire, protection and companionship, were some of the things he received from the god. In return, he guarded the god's property, defended his body, worked for him, and obeyed him.

Some of our philosophizing divines have too much exalted the faculties of our souls, when they have maintained that by their force mankind has been able to find out God.

Virtue is everywhere that which is thought praiseworthy; and nothing else but that which has the allowance of public esteem is called virtue.

I dont understand why my fans cry when they see me. Do I make you sad? No, right? So smile, I like that!

Tristan and Yvaine were happy together. Not forever-after, for Time, the thief, eventually takes all things into his dusty storehouse, but they were happy, as these things go, for a long while